Summer 2012 Free Skool Classes

DISCLAIMER: For more info on the actual New Orleans Free School Network, including their June class schedule, visit nolafreeschoolnetwork.blogspot.com/

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The Greater New Orleans Disorganization of Anarchist Federated Affinity Conspiracy of Sellers of That Fire presents

SUMMER 2012 Free Skool Classes

What, y'all thought every pain-in-the-ass idealist had skipped town to beat the heat? Those days are over! We go HAM year-round; projects never falter not for a MINUTE. We keep it tight, tighter than the wind-up pocketwatch of an OCD steampunk.

Note: owing to inherent subjectivity of reality, everything may not be actual

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Working With Dickheads

The true measure of an anarchist is not what she or he accomplishes, but the saintliness with which she or he can accommodate aggravating, ignorant dickheads in a group-planning situation. If there isn't room in your collective for every braying, unsocialized jerkoff with an (ill-informed) opinion and the desire to have his way, you're probably a terrible exclusionary snob and should join the nazi party. 

In this workshop we will use audiovisuals to strengthen our tolerance and patience, including multiple hours-long lectures delivered by unselfconsciously dickhead men on the topics of Rainbow Gatherings, Burning Man, the Anti-War Movement, The Battle in Seattle and the importance of abolishing the Federal Reserve.

Meeting times: 2-9pm on days you had other stuff planned

Location: Doesn't matter; they'll come find you

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Making the Non-Profit Transition: A Workshop for Over-30s

Are you tired? No, I mean, really tired? You feel it in your bones, don't you? In your sinews. It hurts to sit on the floor. No-one you've met in the activist milieu has expressed sexual interest in you for years. You've worked so very, very hard. Perhaps it's time you made The Non-Profit Transition.

I mean, you've sacrificed so much of your life to this bullshit; why can't you maybe do something for yourself, as well? Is that so bad? Partnering with Shell just means you're hustling them for their money. You're being realistic; your critics are being naive/haters/too young to understand. This workshop is presented in a series of lectures, including:

-- Unlike You, I Deserve To Get Paid

-- Actually This Politician Is Basically On Our Side

-- You'll Want Health Insurance Too When You're My Age

-- I'm Going To Radicalize This Organization From The Inside

-- "Siri, How Do I Sell Out?" Embracing The Technology Fetish

Meeting Time/Location: All lectures are available as "TED Talk" Webinars to be viewed at your convenience on your iPad from the nursery room of your suburban ranch house.

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Who Will Continue My Project?  Actionizing Third-party Follow-through in Townies

It can be frustrating that the year-rounders in New Orleans (to say nothing of the natives, who are as mythical and unapproachable as unicorns) don't appreciate your labor in setting up this "project" that's run for almost months. In this class we figure out ways to bribe, guilt or browbeat others into babysitting your useless vanity projects while you're off gallivanting around wherever-the-fuck, so that when/if you bother coming back to New Orleans your baby will be waiting-- and in the meantime, bragging rights will continue to accrue to you, the Founder!

BONUS Seminar: Please care for my dog while I go to Europe indefinitely.

Meeting Time: Really soon, because my flight leaves in two days!!!

Location: Flora's

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When Collectives Disobey

Consensus works so well so much of the time, but occasions arise when no matter how old, how loud, how male and how much "scene cred" you have, even after you spend hours explaining the proper course of action, other members of your horizontal, leaderless collective simply refuse to do the right thing.

In this support group/skill share we work on techniques both to avoid such situations and how to cope when these crises occur. Makes a great complement to the "Talking Shit on the Internet" workshop-- why not stay for both?

Meeting Time: Wednesdays, after the Iron Rail meeting.

Location: A bar you used to like

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I Heard She's A Cop: Calling Out Undercovers the Passive-Aggressive Way

Sometimes, you just kinda know somebody's a cop-- often, an undercover will coincidentally be someone you dislike personally, someone with whom you have a bad sexual history, someone who's calling you out for your own misbehavior, or someone whom your FBI handler has suggested you preemptively accuse as a way of keeping heat off yourself. We will study ways of getting your suspicions out into the community without ever having to stand behind them, in part via studying the medieval art of Witchfinding and its community-paranoia model of intuitive divination.

Meeting Time: The weekend, once everyone's had a few drinks

Location: Not sure I feel comfortable telling you.

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Simple Goddamn Manners

Recent surveys have concluded, surprisingly, that the primary reason Anarchism has not flourished more in the United States is not because the populace are scared by it or unfamiliar with its tenets but simply because many anarchists are so intensely rude and unpleasant to deal with on an individual level.

Thus, this workshop will focus on diminishing the appearance of unwarranted adolescent arrogance by teaching skills such as Bothering to introduce oneself : Establishment of eye contact : Making small talk with people who aren't exactly like you : Expressing interest in other humans : Apologizing for mistakes : Smiling once in a fucking while : Reciprocating spoken greetings vs. reacting with silent suspicion and fear

Meeting Time: Never, because you already know everything

Location:  A "community space" that no-one from the community feels comfortable in

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Accountability Processes Seminar

Part of life without hierarchical authority is accountability to one another. Accountability Processes are vital not only for community well-being, but to provide the proof that anarchism can function in practice. This seminar will cover how to convene, participate in and carry through long-term Accountability Processes.

Scheduling note: After the initial class, this seminar meets once more three weeks later and then never again.

Meeting Time: Participants will arrange via text message.

Location: Somewhere distant with no air-conditioning

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Radical Feminism for Bros

Being able to pay lip-service to radical feminism has become a crucial skill for many CIS-gendered male anarchists in both their organizing work and their personal lives. This class will survey crucial works by radical feminist thinkers, enabling an accelerated amount of name-dropping for rapid establishment of radfem credentials. A portion of this class will be focused on how women fail to understand or practice feminism the correct way, so that participants in this workshop will later be able usefully to instruct the female-bodied persons in their lives, or at least bully them into compliance.

Meeting Time:  After the bike polo game

Location: A mixed-gender "feminist" household where women wash all the dishes

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Life and Lyrics of the Vapo-Rats

Many locally know the inspiring story of this brave band's triumph over persecution and discrimination, but when all is said and done, far too little time has been spent getting to know and truly understand the band's deep lyrics or the profound personal perspectives informing them.

In this year-long immersion workshop, participants will study and analyze the lyrics, intentionality and opinions of this seminal local musical group. After a 12-month cycle of study and satisfactory completion of the final exam, students will be awarded a certificate signed by Bryan Funck permitting the bearer to make a single criticism of the band.

Meeting Time: TBD at the convenience of the Vapo-Rats

Location: a gated community in Old Metairie

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Talking Shit On The Internet

Of course anything YOU weren't personally invited to help plan is fucked-- but how will people know that, unless you inform them? As New Orleans moves slowly into the 20th Century, radical organizing techniques from futuristic outside places become increasingly relevant. The most crucial of these, of course, is Talking Shit on The Internet.

While Facebook will be the focus of this workshop, we will cover a variety of topics including e-mail chains, strategic BCCing, Google Groups, quasi-anonymous blog posts and use of satire to conceal butthurt.

Meeting Time: After everyone else is asleep

Location: A lonely computer keyboard

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Activism as Refuge

How can you possibly be expected to fulfill base-level social and interpersonal commitments in your private life? There's capitalism to be smashed! In this workshop, we explore activism as a means to avoid dealing with failing relationships, mental illness, unprocessed trauma and sundry other personal demons.

Meeting Time: The ongoing present moment

Location: Wherever you are, wherever you run to next