Thursday, May 31, 2012

Sad, But Not Shocking: Gay-hating church plagiarizes

I'm interested in language. I'm also someone who recognizes Christianity in basically all its forms to be a cynical tax-evading pyramid scheme that preys on ignorance for profit, a pernicious cult propagating hatred, fear, and a doctrine of servility & obedience to authority.

Today I saw the adorable clip above in which this standard heartland church cheers itself hoarse because a couple toddlers have learned to sing "Ain't No Homos Gonna Make It To Heaven." Sad, but not shocking. Hating queers is par for the course, the course as demonstrated consistently and incontrovertibly throughout the brutal 2,000-year reich that has been Christianity's stain upon our planet.

The beaming complacent fake-tanned faces of morally righteous plagiarismI went to the gay-hating toddler Church's website, and beneath the frantic disclaimer I found a quite well-written little "About" paragraph with some commendably pretty language. This set off alarms immediately, since the overlapping subset of "Christians" and "good writers" in the 21st century is, not coincidentally, microscopic-- Annie Dillard was about it, and she finally renounced.

Ya hate to assume the worst, but one thing everyone who's ever had dealings with Bible freaks knows is that they're compulsively, fundamentally dishonest. The louder they holler about Jesus, the more treacherous they're sure to be. As usual, Bill Burroughs said it best:

"If you're doing business with a religious son-of-a-bitch, get it in writing. His word isn't worth shit, not with the good lord telling him to fuck you on the deal."

In short, we're too lazy to describe our own church in our own wordsMorality, in the sense of personal ethics, is meaningless to Christians; they have no personal virtues, which is why they embrace a mumbo-jumbo doctrine that tells them God's In Control. It's all of a piece. Since the Bible is a bunch of ridiculous garbage and they claim it's infallible, their endemic dishonesty, though sad, is not shocking. Like everything else in the massively hierarchical mind-slavery that is "Faith," the problems start at the top.

Anyway, I googled one felicitous phrase, "the kind of contagious Christianity," and, well, see for yourself. Click the link, go on!

Look at those results. Page through them: hundreds, literally hundreds of churches whose "about" pages use the same plagiarized boilerplate.

Sad. Sad that these people who are supposedly so moved by faith as to make it the center of their existence, who claim to be teachers, who ask others to come listen to them yammer on all morning long, are too lazy to even bother articulating the supposed faith that moves them.

Too lazy, too cynical, too dumb. Far easier to copy-and-paste someone else's sentiments. Why not? The sheep in the pews won't know. Read out your plagiarized sermon and pass the collection plate; another hard day's work for the Fishers of Men. Copy, Paste and Praise the lord!

Sad... but not shocking. People who think for themselves don't make very good Christians.


  1. Google is like gigging fish in a rain barrel. Poor kids. Pitiful excuse for adults.

  2. The same argument applies to Jews, Muslims, Tibetan Buddhists, primitivists and practitioners of alternative medicines. For internal consistency you will have to write about these groups in the same way you write about Christians . . .

    Raging on a religion is a bad tactic if you are trying to build a broad based movement. If that is not your goal, then you are just padding your moral CV; ultimately you are then just "preaching to the choir".

    1. When these other groups' doctrines are what's being shoved down people's throats in my community & all over this continent, they'll become a priority. When these other groups' backwards worldviews are the worldviews shaping the laws in my community, I'll jump right on it.

      Until then, you can have 'em.

    2. Ahh but you see: the majority of people in New Orleans would describe themselves as Christian. It does not help the cause of social justice to alienate yourselves from the actual community you are trying to change (even if they don't read this blog).

      Addressing civilization's religious indoctrination by the media, culture and government is quite a different beast from disparaging an entire group of people due to the faith they have chosen. One might address this "brainwashing" without the catcalling, but if both occur the latter will get all the attention.

      Inciting reaction is not the goal, rather it is just an expected side-effect from effecting change in society; something that should be anticipated and prepared for, but not explicitly sought. Why soak the contempt if you aren't even helping to move the cause forward for the greater population?

      I feel the debate between atheism and faith is a great distraction from the actual work that has to be done to change our society. One only has to look at the civil debate on the subject by jerks like Tony Blair and Hitchens (RIP, not) to realize what a great sideshow it all is - and how Atheism by itself is not the stepping stone towards peace, justice and equality.

      Finally, there are many activists doing great work in the anarchist and communist vein who practice Christianity or some other religious faith - your solidarity, open-mindedness and empathy would be greatly appreciated by them.

      Good day, and keep up the great work.

  3. Nola Anarcha I love your (y'alls?) work. Seriously I have wet dreams about being able to do some of the shit you's do. But, I am in the process of becoming ordained in the united methodist church (sure sure they're some of the worst bigoted fuck faces around...but my queer friends demand and me being queer i am one of the,...the ones that are still xian at least......have told me to stay and fight...fuck me...

    Christianity has an amazing history of queer folks doing some good shit.

    Again, I love your work (and i hope my drunken ramblings dont obscure that fact) but I hope that ideology hasnt hazed your view. These folks might have taken the name of xianity and used it to make the world worse but there are some of us that are trying to use that which is outside the ideologies of modernity to do something less so.....

    love ya!